"I'm taking the Fig Newtons to work."
"Ok. It's not like I eat them. I only eat the strawberry ones."
"What? How can you not like figs? That's very un-American. They should send you to Guantanamo Bay. The charge is 'Dislikes Figs.'"
"At least I'll know what my charge is."
"Yah, we make exceptions for U.S. citizens."